Category Archives: Friendship

Love Song for Nancy Drew

This week’s Fashion & Style section of the New York Times included a well-titled tribute to the Nancy Drew mystery book series, “Nancy Drew’s Granddaughters,” and included several choice quotes from many famous and ambitious female political and social figures who read the series as a child. Unfortunately, as sometimes happens with the Times, the short article had the feel of an overedited, in-just-before-the-deadline one-off, and not of the quality tribute that the indomitable Carolyn Keene deserves.

Before I continue, I do want to mention that in the second grade I was heartbroken to find out from our elementary school librarian, Mrs. Lawless, that my heroine Ms. Keene did not, in fact, exist. The Nancy Drew mystery series, which according to the Times piece debuted in the 1930s, was written not by one single author, but by a long series of authors and editors who wrote under the name of Carolyn Keene, a pseudonym. I had inquired with Mrs. Lawless after heading determinedly into the library with pencil and paper in hand, intent on telling the authoress how much I liked her books and how much they meant to me, and that I was waiting for her to publish the next one.

I was young enough at the time that copyright and publication dates meant less than nothing to me, and that pencil and paper would be the instruments assisting in the writing of my communique. Suffice it to say, I was more than a little bit devastated that there in fact was no Carolyn Keene to read and receive my letter. For if Carolyn Keene didn’t exist (and surely, she must!) then to whom could I write?

I was a very, very nerdy child, and I most definitely looked the part. I actually remember the feeling I got while learning to read in Kindergarten, struggling through the “Sam I Am” book series even as I considered them to be more than a little bit unenlightening, although I reluctantly admitted to myself that I was perpetually curious to find out what exactly would happen to Sam on the next page. I remember the daffodil yellow cover of the books, which were really merely pamphlets, and how the little photocopied pages felt in my hands as I triumphed over first one then another page, working my way through the books until I successfully met the release that was the back cover.

In first grade I have a clear memory of sitting in the corner at one of the child-sized low, round tables in Mrs. Whitlock’s classroom, and being embarrassed and annoyed by the lunch-lady (who I ran into at the airport just a few years back, and who still remembered me as the prolific reader in the corner) coming over to praise me for always reading, something I hadn’t necessarily realized I was doing until she pointed it out. The other kids from my class and their day-to-day activities didn’t hold my interest the way the books did, however, a phenomenon that would prove true through at least the first half of high school. I was much more interested in what I was discovering about the world through reading, and in all the great stories that existed to be discovered.

As I grew older I read more and more aggressively, learning to read through the roar of our television, on long car rides, and in class. In particular I read in math class, which I found horribly and unutterably boring, and would hold the book open in my lap behind the little curved plastic desks, pushing it forward almost onto my knees and pressing them up against the desk to pin it there whenever an alert teacher deigned to meander my way during lessons. I was rarely caught or chastised probably, in hindsight, not because I was so crafty with hiding my books (somehow I doubt I got around Mr. Blanchard, my fourth grade teacher, of all people), but because it was so infrequent and likely very amusing to come across a kid who so loved to read that she snuck books between the pages of her math text and sought to craftily hide her reading during other lessons. I attribute both my exceptionally high verbal scores and my exceptionally low math scores to this years-long behavior, and smile now to think of what my teachers must have thought about the little nerd child.

At home I read in the shower,  soaking many a library loaner by pressing the book up against the shower wall with one elbow and quasi-shampooing my hair with my other hand, or by leaving the book on the old radiator with white-chipped-paint just outside the shower doors, anchoring the pages down with the shampoo bottle, and leaving the shower door open.  When I couldn’t find books to read that were yet to be digested, I read shampoo bottles, ingredient lists, classified ads, music lyrics, and (perhaps best of all) my dad’s copies of the ‘Reader’s Digest.” In later years I read books far beyond my years, age, and knowledge of the world, and as a child I read through lunches and classes right up through Middle School, when someone picked up on how bored I was in school and skipped me a year in English and Social Studies, and when the social scene first began to develop and I realized to my surprise that I was intrigued by the possibility of playing a part.

There are several good stories to be told about the nerd child and her great books, and were I to paint you a picture of me during my childhood, you’d find a slender but tall little girl with long, thick brown hair pulled back into a hairband from a great big forehead, wearing some awful printed mock turtle-neck top from Land’s End with teddy bears or images of presents patterned across the material, and  thick aqua-blue plastic glasses two sizes too large for her face. She would be huddled off to the side of a large group of students, the latter of whom were flush in the moment of coming of age, while she herself was engrossed in her canary yellow covered hardcopy book, chin in hand, deep in thought. And between the canary yellow covers in the midst of a great adventure and perhaps more importantly terrific feat of mental reckoning you would find nerdy little me, a plump young girl named Bess, a tomboy named George, and our good friend, Nancy Drew.

Nancy Drew was for me both hero and heroine – she was effeminate (she wore pearls) and also tough, full of sass and not about to take ‘no’ for an answer. She snuck out of the house without fear of the dark or the scary things it could contain, and her friendships were not merely those of young girls learning about the world and themselves, but of alliances, from which she acquired the strengths and abilities she could not find in herself. She was a superhero in a skirt, and even though I occasionally found her perfection and Home Ec-yness (which I might even then have referred to as Home Ickyness) a little too saccharine sweet for my taste, I was always along for the ride, usually tagging along on George’s coattails, as her toughness and resilience were a bit more closely aligned with where I sought to locate myself in the world.  The girls of the Nancy Drew series made me feel strong, and capable, and safe, and the works of Carolyn Keene made me feel normal, and smart, and powerful within my own tiny corner of the world at a time when my growing understanding of myself and how big the world can be most needed that reassurance.

The Times article asked many famous women “who their Nancy Drew was,” and I would say that mine was daring and brave, and took risks with her physical well-being only when she knew that her intellectual abilities and powers of reasoning could get her out of any sticky situation she might find herself in. Indeed, the latter helped her wriggle free from many a prickly situation, and I in my real life (when I actually put down the book long enough to observe it in progress) began to similarly use my own creativity and resourcefulness to get myself out of the sticky situations of the day-to-day life of a grade schooler (of which I don’ t really think there were all that many). From the Drew books I developed the ability to see the world more clearly, when I was attentive enough to it to discern the patterns and causality in grown-up life, and would even today attribute much of my observational aptitude to the good role models that Nancy Drew and her sidekicks provided.

I remember too how exhilarating it was to go to the local library and run my fingers cross-wise along the spines of the 40+ Nancy Drew books that they held from the series, overjoyed with the secret coup-de-grace of a whole bookshelf’s worth of material that, it appeared, only I was clever enough to check out and read. And I remember as well how it felt the day I returned the last books to the library (for I used to check out dozens at a time, taking them home in a large plastic shopping bag imprinted with the acronym of the local librarians’ union), and realized that I had out-read the series – I had finished off Nancy Drew, and in fact had read so many of the works multiple times that there was no longer any more previously overlooked nuances to detect.

It was with a heavy heart then that I moved down a shelf, to the aquamarine blue bindings of the Hardy boys series, which I devoured just as quickly, although with a little less exhilaration than that of Nancy Drew (because ugh! They were boys!), and an even heavier heart that shortly thereafter I returned the last of that series as well. I even now recall the awe and pride of standing in front of the entire mystery section of the children’s room of the library, and seeing that I had read every title across a half dozen floor-to-ceiling shelves, and the sadness that accompanied the understanding that I had moved beyond my old friends, and would have to let them go if I wanted to keep reading.

Nancy Drew was my co-conspirator, my inspiration, someone who challenged and befriended me during the angst of the first  decade of my life, in a time before laptops and iPhones and constant internet connectivity and the endless barrage of the television. She met me in the quiet places in my house, held my attention, and pushed me to try harder, go farther, and think more creatively at a very formative and vulnerable age. And when I finally left that children’s room book section for the ‘Young Adult’ shelves (whose location was trepidatiously close to the Adult books consumed by my mother, a voracious reader herself), I remember the chagrin and nostalgia of leaving a roomful of well-known and closely loved friends behind, and the indebtedness I felt to Nancy Drew, who I knew would protect all the other books and characters in my absence. Losing the Drew series was a lot like losing an old friend at that relatively tender young age, but she and her co-conspirators opened the door for me to a whole host of other works, and life experiences lived between the pages of great and sometimes not so great works of literature, and for that I will always be tremendously grateful.

-M-

This Moment in Numbers: 12

This day is at long last my ‘D’ Day, with the ‘D’ in this case being for Do. It’s time to do it, to go into the field and begin the process of answering all the questions I have spent the last nine months dreaming up. I am excited. I feel energetic and light, full of hopefulness about the speed and accuracy of my data collection (I have a good track record on the latter), and nervous. I lay in bed last night eagerly calculating and recalculating how many days it will take me to get the data, to survey all twelve of my community forests, not able to sleep despite the dark and the long day I had had. I was and continue to be totally jazzed by this moment.

I have 12 community forests to sample, with a whopping nine backup forests selected (one for every sample forest) in case one gets away. The reasons to decide against sampling a forest are diverse, but a few would be if the community didn’t want you there (it’s harvest time, and community members are busy bringing in their crops), if the forest had been dramatically damaged by a fire, flood, or landslide in the last ten years (which would affect the species diversity, a measure of how many species there are, and abundance, a measure of how many individuals from each species are present), or if the forest’s elevation, slope, or topography makes it impossible to survey (the land is very folded here, and many slopes are over a 45 degree angle!)

In addition I have randomly selected an entire backup Range Post, the management unit within which my forests are located. I am sampling three range posts (to see if there’s a difference between them), but I have the back up one selected in case I show up to Pumdi Bhumdi, Lamachaur, or Hemja and the Range Post Officer, whose help I need to get into the forests and work with the local forest watcher, is sick, absent, or just plain irritable.

Did I mention I feel ready?

I had a last talk with my bestfriend/sounding board/president of ye olde kitchen cabinet last night, a last pep talk for the field and also a double-check on my plans, methods, and thinking, from a scientist I greatly admire, and a friend who knows me well. We have worked together in two countries, now, and for all the questions I’ve checked in with him on while here in Nepal, you may as well round it up to three. Incidentally, if you don’t know the ‘kitchen cabinet’ reference, google it – it was originally a pejorative description of one of the former president’s (Andrew Jackson’s?) use of his friend’s as advisors, rather than his official cabinet, and I love the analogy. Your kitchen cabinet members are your go-to people, your last-check-before-I-take-my-swandive folks, the people whose range of experience and perspectives on the world help guide you through your own choices, even though these decisions are ones that you effectively make alone. I like the mental image of opening the cabinet doors and finding all your closest advisors there, the people you respect the most, smiling and reaching in support, willing and able to help and guide you.

Last night I told the cabinet member of note (whose name is Greg) that if by some fluke I managed to discover a new species, I would name it after him, and put an “ii” (pronounced ee-eye) after his name to show him what it would be. It’s common in science to name newly discovered species after famous, well-respected scientists, and since he’ll be one sometime in the next year or so, I’d just be ahead of the curve. I think we were both imagining plants, since that’s what I study, but I also told him, with a wink, that should it be a leech I discover instead, the naming convention will hold.

And now it’s time to rally and leave, as I have one last battle to do with a laggard employee of the forest office here before I can take to the field, and I’m showing up as he starts his day, in hopes of counteracting the laziness, but here are the numbers.

18: randomly selected potential sampling sites, with 18 photocopies of forest operational plans, all in Nepali.

15: minutes before I leave campus for the day.

12: forests to sample by August 10.

7: the number of days per week I don’t want to work, but just might have to.

6: forests at or under 10 hectares in size (whoopeee! Thank you, random sampling!)

6: working days in a week.

4: Pieces of fancy schmancy American raingear.

3: Range Posts and Range Post Officers to work with.

3: pm, the time the monsoon starts.

2: Backpacks packed with gear.

1: 90 hectare, or 900,000 sq meter forest to sample (a percentage of).

1: field assistant, with the promise of others if needed.

1: last cup of delicious Costa Rican coffee before I go.

1: Last deep breath.

Namaste,

-M-

And the Rockets’ Red Glare…

I am not even remotely supposed to be blogging right now, but my stomach is currently on day three of mulching every.single.thing I put in it, so I’m taking a moment’s break from sitting upright at a table to lie down on my bed, and write a little. I’m supposed to be at the District Forest Office right now, picking up management plans and negotiating field support, as my fieldwork starts tomorrow, and I will get there – because where there’s a will, there’s a way. Right now, however, proximity to a bathroom is of utmost importance, so blogging is how I’ll wait out the stomach pain.

I just checked in on the Facebook crew (really, on Mike, to make sure he’s still doing okay) and was cheered and perhaps a little envious to see all the wishes of “Happy 4th of July!” and fireworks displays photographed all over our great, big country. The 4th of July is one of my favorite American holidays, and one which I have “missed” for what I count as six out of the last eight summers, a bit to my chagrin. I love the 4th because I like all the ingredients it includes: the family, the friends, the beer, the barbecue (especially when people use different spatulas for the meat and the non-meat!), the watermelon, the lazy warmth and the knee-length dresses, the ice cream, and the fireworks. I love the parades, even though I don’t go – but just knowing that they are out there, that they still exist as they did when I was a child, is reassurance enough. I picture old men veterans of my hometown stepping deliberately and thoughtfully along the parade route, high school students drumming the cadence in their uncomfortable tin-soldier-style red uniforms, Uncle Sam tripping along benevolently on stilts, little neighborhood floats like those we made when I was a kid, candy thrown from clowns, and finally a bunch of slightly overweight middle-aged Jaycees guys sweating and smiling widely as they job behind their lawnmowers (and as to that last – Hullo, Suburbia! However did that tradition start?) The 4th of July at home is where it’s at.

Even though I continuously miss the 4ths of July of home, I can easily count my years and life experiences backwards through recollecting where I was on the 4th of the last decade.

For example:
•    Last year, 2008, I was in Costa Rica, somewhere around Puerto Jimenez doing a backpacking trip into the Parque Nacional Corcovado, a gorgeous park and hike that involved hours of walking along the beach, a trek through the rainforest, seeing a large cat on the way out, and more monkeys, anteaters, and little rodent-like creatures than I can count. I was traveling somewhat solo so as to explore the country before meeting up with my best-friend, Greg, to help him kickstart his graduate school research, which turned out to be a blast (and the best part of the trip, to tell the truth).
•    In 2007 I was in South Africa, sent there by the National Geographic Society on what can only be described as a lucky fluke, when I was invited to accompany an older scientist to the Society for Conservation Biology’s annual meeting in Port Elizabeth, and took the opportunity to talk to people in Stellenbosch and Praetoria, as well, about our programs and funding channels. It was a short, two week trip, but it provided a strong reminder of the allure of field research, and my desire to return to it.
•    In 2006, I had one of my more traditional 4th of July, watching the “bombs burst in air” from the rooftop of an apartment in the Shaw neighborhood in Washington DC. It was my first summer in the city, and as I turned 360 degrees I could see a myriad of small fireworks displays for as long as I could turn in circles – they just didn’t end. It was magical, and perhaps the best fireworks I have ever seen, although only so because of the accompaniment of neighborhood fireworks propping up the big national ones.
•    In 2005, I was in Alaska, where it snowed on the 4th of July, and we made a small parade and dressed up in silly costumes (bugshirts and carharts, as I recall), upending garbage cans so that I could teach everyone a drum cadence, which we played while marching around the field station’s small staging area, before drinking ourselves silly under the Midnight Sun.
•    2004 found me in California, living at 7,000 ft of elevation at a Forest Service site, in a tent, although I traveled with a co-worker to see the San Francisco Bay fireworks for the 4th. The Bay fireworks ended up involving a lot of red, white, and blue cloud matter, instead of fireworks, but we befriended a group of extremely intelligent homeless men, one of whom had read every anarchist philosophical text I had, and had a robust conversation about politics and social organization over the jars of pickles and roasted red peppers they had picked up from the food donation office at their shelter. It proved to be a strange and wonderful afternoon, and permanently changed the way I see and related to the homeless, even all these years later.
•    In 2003 I had a taste of Minnesota nice (and Minnesota fun) when during my first summer as a field researcher we all accompanied a friend and Minnesotan to the little town of Eveleth, MN, where we partied (illegally – I think I was twenty at the time) at all the bars on the closed down streets, and then headed up to Alex’s family’s lodge in the North Woods, a gorgeous place where the water of the lakes ran deep and beautiful and pure. My chief memory of Eveleth (or I should say late at night on the 4th) was of worshipping the porcelain god in his bathroom, so to speak, but it was a fun night nonetheless.
•    And finally, to take it as far back as memory goes, in 2002 I returned from my first-year of college to spend it in NJ, disturbed as I had been by the World Trade Center attacks hitting so close to home in the second week of my first year of college. I just wanted to be home, that summer, and so worked as a camp counselor (the “Nature Lady”) by day and spent the 4th watching the fireworks on my Aunt Joan’s lawn, in the next town. Even this 4th had an international flavor, though, as I invited all the international students working as counselors at the camp to join my family and I at our home, and then took them to the town parade, to my home for a barbecue, and then to my aunt’s pool for swimming, after which we all splayed out on the front lawn with my family, watching the fireworks and celebrating the 4th. This was probably the last time I saw my hometown parade, a long six years of travel and life experience ago…

And so being away for the 4th yesterday was more typical than atypical, but I missed the celebration just the same. I slept through the morning in an effort to kill my stomach bug, and then decided to accompany my friend Deepak to Lakeside for the afternoon, after he got excited about all things Americana (myself included) and suggested emphatically that we should do something appropriate to celebrate my nation’s birthday. I made myself a little blue emphasizing how fun and amazing the holiday was as I explained it to him, so decided I would treat Deepak to a series of quasi-American things (a cup of real coffee; something red, white, and blue to eat?, a picnic near the lake, I would wear red, white and blue clothing, etc).

Being the pasty-skinned, dirt worshipping American I am, however, I don’t own any red or white clothing, and so had to make do with a myriad of blues, donning my Yale Forestry hat (which looks terrible on me) mostly because it was dark blue with white letters, and made the claim to my homeland for me. On a whim Deepak took us not to Lakeside but to Begnas Tal, another, smaller lake, which was a stroke of pure brilliance on his part. The ride (on the motorcycle) was fantastic – the sky was blue and clear, the clouds a puffy white, the air warm – it felt like an American July 4th. We arrived at Begnas to the pleasing discovery that it is incredibly undeveloped, forested lakeshore intact, local people quietly fishing from boats and the shoreline, only two cafes perched high on the hillside above, at which we stopped for a few hours and drank some beer, American-style (it was Carlsberg, but hey at least it was beer!), eating snacks and enjoying the view, and the shade.

Towards the end of the afternoon Deepak was a “little” buzzed, and decided he would help me to expand my social circle by going over to the only other white people in the place, a couple, who he excitedly whispered to me “are Americans!” In fact, they turned out to be Brits, very nice Brits, but I was put in the position of having to explain to them that Deepak thought they were Americans and was excited for them to share in our national holiday with me, even though in fact the holiday I was quietly celebrating was the Declaration of Independence from their country, our colonizers. Now that was different. To my surprise the couple knew that it was the 4th of July, and as such an American holiday, and turned out to be quite nice. The man out is a Gurkha soldier stationed in Nepal for a year (he’s about halfway through) and speaks Nepali, which is a quick and easy way to earn my respect here (and that of most Nepalis, as well).

When we all went down to the Lakeshore after eating to check out the fishermen, who were in the process of pulling in a massive lakefish twice the size of anything already in their nets, the other woman, who was about my age, cute, little, and blonde, with a huuuuge rock on her ring finger turned to me and said, “What’s your name, by the way? Mine is Merydeth.” I was so surprised to share our name (I’ve rarely had to introduce myself so redundantly before) that I stammered in giving my own name, which is spelled differently. We both stood there a few minutes giggling in surprise and the unlikeliness of it (Merydeth had never met another Meredith before), and then politely parted ways, as the bideshi in Nepal generally do.

So that was my July 4th, as different as all of the rest of them have been, and yet one which I will remember as well as the others, for sure. I admit that I hope next year to have a knock-down, all-out American summer (beach, beer, wine, bicycles, ice cream, hiking, swimming, forests, and fireworks on the 4th), but since life changes so much and so fast, I know I could be anywhere – including right back here in Nepal.

-M-